


Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love

by dropletsofshadow



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Face-Fucking, Heavy BDSM, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Rimming, Safeword Fail, Spanking, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Ugh, a tiny mention of headspace, apparently for someone it's important, so that's it, this is always so annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:09:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1956246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropletsofshadow/pseuds/dropletsofshadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He can’t pinpoint when it started, how it happened. When the need to strip away everything; the words, the need to push each other further and take each other in ways they’d never done before became almost necessary, essential. When all that is left is the two of them, just feeling each other, and nothing more. </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love

**Author's Note:**

> The concept of temporal and spacial coordinates eludes my brain and everything even remotely attached to it.
> 
> On the note of things I failed, I proved myself once again incapable of keeping things light and strictly smutty when required. I got the feeling my hand kinda _slipped_ when I was trying to restrain myself from throwing a bit (too much) of angst in the mix. I master the art of making good resolutions and then shamelessly ignoring them in favour of letting my angst-thirsty mind wander off freely *adds quirky face*
> 
> thanks to my lovely beta wholeheartedlylouis who was a real apple pie and dealt with my whining crap and cheerleaded for me from the word go. all further mistakes are my own.
> 
> I'm pretty sure lube didn't exist in the middle ages. but i guess that since titans didn't either, let your imagination flow and bear with me. 
> 
> **Disclaimer** : this is fiction. this definitely happened
> 
>  
> 
> I'm [lollypoopz](http://lollypoopz.tumblr.com/) on tumblr

 

 

Levi sometimes wishes he was able to love him without feeling like parts of himself were dying with every bruise he etches on the boy’s sunkissed skin, with every angry kiss he brushes against his lips. He wishes he could remember how to be himself without him, how it felt when there wasn’t the boy’s name carved inside his ribcage, embedded deeper under his skin.

Or maybe he doesn’t. Doesn’t want to get back to the time when there wasn’t an indent on his heart in the shape of Eren’s fingertips, prefers the frazzling fear that he could lose him in any minute than the possibility of never having had him.

It’s just.

Sometimes it gets too much.

The noise, the people, the blood. It‘s all around them, scaring never-faltering presence, slowing enclosing on them like a fog, making everything feel always at the edge, like it’s just waiting to fall apart.

Eren doesn’t ask anymore, but sometimes Levi just knows. It can be from a whisper lost to the screaming crowd, maybe not even meant to come out. It can be a look that lingers for a bit too long, a tremble of Eren’s lips or fingertips that brush against Levi’s skin in a way that makes goosebumps blossom all over his body.

Levi just knows.

And tonight, Levi thinks, tonight it feels like it’s him who needs it, more than Eren. Because Levi is used to the pain, to the fear. Scrutinized and judged, used to the harsh words and disappointed eyes. But there are flashes that rush back to him like tide waves, of Eren’s body, unmoving, lying against the damp grass, blood running down his jaw, eyes closed. Flashes that blur at the back of his mind, making it impossible to sleep, to breathe. And he wants to forget, forget everything that happened that day because Eren is here, is okay.

But he just can’t.

Levi thinks there’s a pain that stuck to his skin and scarred him deeper than he’s willing to believe, has been feeling like someone was trying to tear his chest open and categorize every pulsing vein again, and again one more time like it has already happened so many times before he’s afraid to count them.

And the thought scares him, always, because there’ll be hundreds of eyes on them tomorrow, and he hasn’t touched Eren in what feels like ages, much less in his shitty room, but he doesn’t have the restraint for it.

Not tonight.

He can’t imagine going slow and easy, not now, not when it feels like his skin is stretched too tight from everything he’s trying to hold in, heart knocking inside his ribcage with each beat and his cock pulsing in time with it.

He wants Eren, wide-eyed and straining for it, as desperate as Levi is. As greedy.

And that’s why Levi has Eren down to his knees on the cold pavement of his room, discarded clothes littered around his bare feet, wrists tied up behind his back and swollen lips stretched out around Levi’s dick.

It’s a sight Levi doesn’t think he will ever get used to, the warmth of Eren’s crimson mouth as he sinks down, down to swallow him all, how deep he can take it like he can never have enough of Levi’s cock, not even when he’s literally choking on it.

Levi doesn’t even remember how they got to this point tonight. He thinks it might all have to do with how Eren’s fingers curled around his wrist, firm pressure against his pulse point, as they walked through the stables just outside the castle. To how, once back in his room, after stepping inside with a towel barely secured around his waist, he saw Eren already knelt on the floor with his head bowed down and hands lazily resting against his lower back, waiting, exactly as Levi knew he would.

This is one of their things; communicating without saying anything at all, when words fail and the silence says more than anything else could. When they know what the other one needs, and always give it to him.

Levi momentarily pulls Eren off his dick, tugging harshly at his mussed hair, because he always gets so greedy when he has a cock in his mouth, almost desperate, just to make sure Eren is still with him, and not already off somewhere else.

It will never seize to amaze Levi how fast and easily it is for Eren to fall into his headspace, to give up all his resistances and let Levi have all the control he so easily gives up. To switch off his head and just not _think_.

He can’t pinpoint when it started, how it happened. When the need to strip away everything; the words, the need to push each other further and take each other in ways they’d never done before became almost necessary, essential. When all that is left is the two of them, just feeling each other, and nothing more.

And it doesn’t matter how many times he can make Eren come, or how incredible it is every time.

It’s Eren, who needs to lose control. It’s, for once, to allow someone to leave him bare and exposed but completely at ease and loved, not to have to worry how many cracks they can see, pointing out all the ones that can’t be fixed. To have someone who kisses every scar and fill the clefts running down his bones when everything gets too much, when the light is too harsh and sleep doesn’t come.

Someone who is Levi, Levi and always Levi.

Because everything has always been _Levi_.

And it’s Levi who, instead, needs to take all that control, to have for those few hours the stupid illusion that he can have Eren for real, to know he has the power to tear him apart so easily and effortlessly and yet he never does, always so careful to push him just at the edge of his limits and then bring him back before he can break. To be able to make all those walls he builds up crumble, because he knows Eren can see all the cracks of all the smiles that don’t reach his eyes and the signs of exhaustion riddling his body that he so hard tries to hide.

It’s knowing the boundaries, how far they can push them, just to make it feel more real, more palpable.

Eren’s eyes are completely black now, just a phantom of pale green pooled in a little sliver around his dilated pupils, and he looks dazed, spaced-out, already wrecked. Levi moves a hand to Eren’s face, rubs the pad of his thumb over Eren’s bottom lip and spreads the moisture of precome and saliva across Eren’s bottom lips and then feeds his slick fingers to Eren, who teasingly laps at them to then take them all inside his mouth till the last knuckles.

“Fuck Eren,” Levi moans, pushing his fingers deeper, pressing just past Eren’s gag reflex. Eren chokes lightly on them, but doesn’t pull off, stays there, with his bright eyes staring up at Levi like there’s no other place he’d rather be than here.

He gently withdraws his hand out of Eren’s mouth and presses lightly against his bottom lip and drags it down, releasing the plush skin with this ridiculous pop. Eren’s eyes waver close, whispers something that sounds like Levi’s name just as Levi fists lazily his other hand around his cock, and playfully slaps it against Eren’s lips, then against his tongue once Eren flattens it out of his mouth. Levi teasingly feeds his dick to him, pushing it deeper down his throat, loving when Eren’s eyes flutter close at the strain of keeping him there, and then out again, just to see Eren’s mouth following it like he’s starving for being choked just once more.

Levi lets go of his cock at last, wipes a tear away from Eren’s’ temple where they’ve been tracking back into his hair as he stares up. Eren’s tongue gently darts out to lap at Levi’s dick, taking just the head inside his mouth and sucking at it meticulously.

Levi loves it, the way Eren can drive him mad, can make him want to thrust into his mouth until they’re both gagging for it, coming from it. And Eren likes it too, hums happily as he swirls his tongue around Levi and pulls off a bit to lick at the slit.

Levi can’t help it when his hands move to thread through Eren’s messy hair, yanking just hard enough to make Eren moan around him once more. His eyes flutter open to blink up at Levi, his mouth full and nostrils flaring. The red in his face has spread down over his neck and Levi can see it creep toward his collarbones, down his torso. Levi rocks him back and then down again on his cock, and then pushes him farther, past the point where Eren makes a choked sound in his throat, until he starts to push back on Levi's hand with his own head.

He stills his movements a moment more, listening to Eren breathing through his nose, lips tight near the base of Levi's cock. He gags but doesn't stop, not even when Levi pulls him off and pushes him down again, digging his fingers even tighter in Eren's hair as he moves him faster, trying not to buck forward every time he forces Eren down.

And Eren lets Levi use him, lets Levi fuck his mouth until he can’t take it anymore, would probably let Levi shatter him into a million little pieces and put him back together using nothing but his tongue.

Levi buries himself one last time inside Eren’s mouth, keeping him there till he can feel Eren’s throat spasming and clenching impossibly tight around him. He finally lets go of Eren, who slowly draws off with a wet and squelching sound, thin threads of saliva stretching from Levi’s dick to his mouth, snapping when Eren deliberately slowly wipes his tongue over his lips, spreading the mess of saliva all over them with a tiny smirk that makes Levi’s hands tingle.

It shouldn't be beautiful, seeing Eren’s face being a mess of spit and sweat, redness staining his cheeks and the long column of his neck, but Levi is dazed by it all, can’t tear his eyes away from how the weak moonlight is dripping down the hollows of his throat and pooling in the crevices of his collarbones. He wants to trail his tongue along the hard lines of his jaw, to lick the opalescent stardust off of his naked torso, marred with ink and love bites Levi etched there the night before.

And so he does, slowly sinks down in front of him and brushes his tongue over every inch of flushed skin, leaves a bite just below Eren’s ear only to hear his breath hitch in his throat. He moves both hands to Eren’s jaw, gently raises his head so he can look at him, can get lost in the liquid black pooled in his eyes, and kisses him.

He kisses him and thinks Eren doesn’t know what he does to him.

Doesn’t know what he does to him when he looks at Levi like this. Like he’s something beautiful, something he has to touch like he’s afraid he could break. What he does to Levi when in the morning he shuffles sleepily back in their room with their breakfast and sees Eren lying against the pillows and crumpled bed sheets, spreading his legs like he’s been paid to do it, when he lifts his arms up to hook his hands around the metal frame of the headboard, looking up at Levi through half-lidded eyes, lazy smirk twisting his lips.

Doesn’t know what he does to Levi when he lets him stain his skin with bruises and engrave his name on his hips, red indents in the shape of his impatient hands. When he chases the taste of black tea off Levi’s mouth and kisses him like he wants to taste only himself on Levi’s tongue and nothing else.

He sucks Eren’s bottom lip inside his mouth, bites hard enough to draw blood, and then lets the kiss turn gentle, lips barely brushing against one another.

It reminds him of soft kisses that tasted like innocence and cold winters, reminds him of two boys discovering each other’s body hidden in shadowy corners, concealed in the darkness, messy and quick handjobs when they were far into deep to even know what the hell they were doing.

Of a boy who has always had this way of loving him so gently. Always so bloody gently.

He licks inside Eren’s mouth once more, kisses the tip of his nose and, “Get on the bed, hands and knees,” Levi commands then, while he stands up and strips down of his trousers, throwing them carelessly on the floor somewhere in the room.

Eren crawls on the bed, and it’s when it gets like this, when there is a lust and want bigger than anything you could ever imagine to feel, when there is an exasperation pooling harshly at the pits of their stomach, when it’s never enough, always a need for more, more and more, that Eren gets gracious, that he moves delicately like he has a purpose. And he crawls on the bed, face shoved against the mattress and bum perched in the air, hands tightly tied up behind his back and just waits.

And Levi knows there really is no need to tie him up, because Eren would keep his hands there anyway, always so submissive when he gets like this, when he needs to feel helpless and desperate. But Levi loves the deep welts carving Eren’s wrists, the lacerated skin running around them, to see how Eren’s eyes space out every time he looks at them, the tremor of his lips when Levi kisses along the bruised flesh at night when darkness slips down the walls of their room and the edges of their bodies blur with it all.

Levi reels with the immensity of what he's been entrusted, with the immensity of the unadulterated love that bursts inside his ribcage when his boy looks at him like he’s everything, like no matter how many people there are in a room, Levi is the only thing he can see.

His whole hand smoothes down the line of Eren’s spine, over his bum and down the back of his thigh, making him gasp and jolt slightly.

Levi loves how sensitive Eren is, how his muscles tense each time Levi strokes the innards of his thighs. He squirms restlessly beneath Levi as he twists his hand, keeping his palm on Eren’s abdomen as his fingers curve over his pubic bone to rest idly between his legs.

He repeats the same movements on the other side, causing Eren to choke out a little sob, needy and impatient for what is to come. Levi does it again on both sides while Eren struggles to keep his eyes open. Nothing but air moves in the room as he runs his middle finger between Eren’s crack, down until he can feel how loose he already is. Moving his finger in slow circles against him and listening to his breathing change and the small whimpers that fall from his lips.

"Lower to your forearms," he directs and Eren brings his upper body down slowly, resting on his arms with his ass still perched. Levi’s hands are growing greedier as he squeezes his ass in his palm and bites lightly into the skin of Eren’s hips. 

"Oh shit," Eren gasps, dropping his head into the duvet. 

"What do you want, Eren?" he asks, so calm, always so calm even when he feels like he could fall apart at any moment.

"Fuck, spank me." 

"How hard?"

“ _Please_ ,” Eren moans out in lieu of an answer, and Levi digs his fingers harder into his skin.

“Answer me, Eren,” and he doesn’t mean to sound harsh, just knows sometimes Eren needs to be reminded where he stands right now.

"Hard— _fuck_. Hard, Levi," he gasps out as he grips the duvet in his fingers when he feels Levi’s tongue drag slowly across the skin of his cheek, right where he knows he’ll hit.

And that’s what makes their love different. Their love is pure trust. Their love is knowing where Levi is going to strike, and knowing that he’d always kiss away the burn afterwards. Their love is dark and light and everything all at once, consuming and all-compassing with its intensity. 

With Eren, it’s as if all reason and thought escape him. He doesn’t have to worry or second guess himself. He doesn’t wonder if his darkest desires are too dark. He has no walls, no limits, nothing holding him back. It is pure freedom. He feels his pleasure in the tips of his fingers. He feels it vibrating in his lips when Eren kisses him just that little bit harder, that little bit more desperately.

A pure sexual connection that is unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. A connection bonded by how strongly he feels for this clumsy boy knelt in front of him, who tiptoed inside his life and sunk so deep between each ribs, and how much this boy trusts him in return.

Levi's hand lands sharp on Eren's ass, and the room falls silent.

Another blow comes to Eren’s skin shortly afterward, this time harder than before and then he doesn't stop. He keeps spanking down onto Eren's ass, a hand slipping onto Eren's hip to hold him still. Everything about it heightens his arousal; the sound, the sting on his hand, the broken noises coming from Eren as he spasms and writhes on the duvet, struggling as he tries to stifle the moans tempted to be let out. 

Levi keeps going until he can't feel his hand and Eren is whimpering with every spanking. Eren feels warm all over, the heat from his ass matching the heat in Levi's hand. He rubs the flat of it across Eren's ass, making him give up little choked noises when he presses against the angry red parts.

“Look how red you're turning, Eren, it's beautiful.” And it is, the way that Eren gets pinker with every slap from Levi's hand, warming him up to take more, always more.

Levi slows the spanks down, varying from upper thigh, to the crease between Eren's ass cheeks. “You're being so good for me, doll,” he croons, and his hand strikes again, and he keeps his hand there and then _squeezes_ , digs his fingers into the sore skin so that Eren’s breath catches. He grips Eren’s other cheek and spreads them until he can see the pink dusting over his hole, so pretty and loose.

When the tip of his tongue first leaves a little lick, Eren whimpers so loud Levi fears someone outside their room might hear them. But he just can’t bring himself to care, never truly has before, so after the first lick Levi doesn’t seem to be able to stop, his tongue lapping with a restless and messy rhythm at Eren’s clenching hole, parting the soft and warm flesh of Eren’s arse cheeks further more with his hands, kneading and squeezing them till the lovely shade of red turns almost white.

“So good for me. Taking it so well, sweetheart,” he praises, again and again, knows that Eren needs to hear it, needs to know he’s being good for Levi.

When Eren starts to move his hips in tentative circles against Levi’s tongue, Levi pushes a finger inside, still licking around it and wetting the sensitive skin of the rim with each brush of his tongue.

“Oh, god Eren, you're so warm inside,” Levi moans out and this is so good, so good it seems surreal, and Levi wants to live in this moment forever, with the night sky stretching above this too loud and yet too silent place and just Levi and Eren and no one else.

Levi moves his finger, in and out, with slow, yet deep movements, basking in the whimpers Eren is letting out softly, getting lost in the blackness of the room.

"Fuck," Eren moans, keeping his voice hushed as best as he can.

"Does that feel good, Eren?" Levi asks.

"Feels so good! Add another, please!" And Levi does.

He adds a second finger, pushing deeper and crooking them to rub against Eren’s prostate, and then adds another, loving the feeling of Eren’s entrance clenching around them and then getting loose again when Levi trails kisses all around.

When he feels Eren nearing his orgasm, the straining flesh of his thighs quiver just a bit and his breathing is getting erratic, he pulls his fingers out, putting his hands back on each cheek and parting them so he can look at the shiny and wet rim, gaping and squeezing around nothing. It looks so beautiful with the feeble starlight washing in through the window, with frazzled shadows painting the bruised skin.

Levi’s hands cup his backside, squeezing the red flesh beneath his palms just one more time, before sliding downwards, so tantalisingly slowly, along Eren’s back, making sure that he touches each area of bare skin, until his fingertips are in Eren’s hair and gently massaging his scalp. Eren relaxes his head back against his touch, sighing in quiet relief.

  
"I’m going to blindfold you," he murmurs, and grips his hair and yanks his head up, swallowing the pained intake of breath with his mouth in a bruising kiss.

Levi digs through his things, fishes out the lube and their silk foulard, and slowly hovers it over Eren’s eyes and ties it behind his head, while he trails soft kisses on his shoulders, along the juncture of his neck.

Still ascending, Levi caresses the skin at the base of his neck, and then either side of his jugular, until his fingertips are running along his sculpted jaw. He slides his palm from the base of Eren’s spine to the nape of his neck, applying pressure as he pushes Eren back down again into the same position he previously was, holding on to the frame of the bed with the other hand.

He uncaps the almost finished bottle of lube, coats his fingers carefully and pushes four inside till the last knuckles, and it’s not enough, not for Eren, who, as soon as Levi crooks his fingers, starts to grind his hips against them, trying to push them even deeper than they already are.

“ _Eren_ ,” Levi admonishes, brushing his fingertips against Eren’s prostate, again and again like he can’t stop, doesn’t want to stop. Just when he feels Eren at the verge of coming again, he slows down his movements to an almost stop, just pressing his fingertips against his spot, not even moving again.

“Please -- please Levi,” Eren chokes out, and his voice is gone. It's barely a crackle, registering so deep right now. He tries to pull out his fingers, but has to bite off a moan when Eren’s muscles roll and waver around his fingers, trying to draw him in and keep him there. He uses the other hand to pinch Eren’s backside, an action that works as a warning just as Levi wanted it to, and finally pulls his fingers out and wipes them down Eren's ass, watching it shine.

Levi takes hold of his cock, and he’s almost tempted to just stroke it against Eren’s hole, brush it up and down his crack just to make him wait that little bit longer, to make him get that little bit more desperate. But there is a patience he can’t really bring himself to muster, a need so deep within him that he can’t control anymore, so with a steady push until his thighs are where Eren's ass is spank warm, burning from what Levi has done to him, he buries himself inside Eren, and then pauses.

“Breathe,” Levi orders, or maybe just reminds, and Eren gasps in a breath as Levi tentatively moves his hips just that bit deeper, reeling in the warmth of Eren’s hole, still loose from all the prep and yet still so tight.

“You-- _god_. Love your cock,” Eren moans, like he’s not even aware of what he’s saying anymore.

Levi grabs Eren’s hip with a hand, moving the other to brush against the still red skin of his arse. He presses on the bruise he left this morning on the soft skin of his lower back, when he was too tired to do anything more than lazily suck on Eren’s skin while he was still sleepily snoring against the pillow. Eren shudders out a whimper at the feeling, closing his eyes briefly.

Levi lowers himself so he’s almost flushed against Eren’s back, immediately attaching his mouth to Eren’s neck. Everything is so much tighter and the pressure against Levi’s dick is maddening. Levi goes slow to begin with, making sure that Eren can feel the entire length of his cock moving inside of him, working his muscles into a tight frenzy. But as the muscles in his arms begin to strain and his breathing deepens, he straightens up and picks up his pace, thrusting into Eren with such force that he almost loses his breath. Eren cries out as friction burns between his skin and the sheets as Levi’s hips knocked against the backs of Eren’s and he pushes him further and further up the bed.

"So good sweetheart. Taking my cock so well."

Levi moves both hands around Eren's hips as he snaps into him, hearing Eren's tearful whimpers every time a particular turn of his hips hits a spot on Eren's ass. Levi slides one hand down Eren's back into his hair where he wraps it around his fingers and tugs at it, making Eren moan for him.

“Levi,” Eren chokes out, and Levi just grabs his hips harder when Eren tries to squirm away, holds him still and fucks in, and in, and in, until Eren is gasping and slapping a palm against the bed before clawing at the sheets.

“Harder,” Eren breathes, pulling his lip between his teeth and Levi feels a wave of annoyance rushing through his veins, knowing Eren is aware he’s not allowed to make any sort of request, not when they are like this, far too deep to put any coherent thoughts in what they are doing.

  
His hand comes down with a harsh slap, leaving an intense burning across Eren’s skin. Eren breathing is ragged as Levi tenderly kneads the raw flesh between the blows that follow, caressing him with his palm and fingertips after each of them.

  
“More?” he asks, and each time his hand hits Eren’s skin, his muscles clenches and Levi’s arousal swells. He has to rake his fingernails down Eren's ass to prevent from coming right there on the spot.

  
“Yes,” Eren manages, not daring to say anything more this time.

Levi resumes his previous quick path with his hips, pushing harder, deeper. They’re knocking the bed against the wall and Levi can barely hear the thump-thump-thump over the sound of Eren’s sobs and short, gaspy whines. Eren’s teeth are digging into his own arm, a bright spark of pain to contrast the dull ache spreading through the rest of his body, and he’s moaning uncontrollably, low and steady, like he’s hurting just the same as Levi. Like he needs it just as badly.

Eren’s crying, begging in half-formed words that may or may not make any sense as he thrashes, hips in constant motion, trying to get any friction he can on his neglected cock. Levi buries himself inside Eren so hard his breath is knocked the fuck out of his lungs, holds himself there till Eren arches back into it, pleading, “Oh, god, Levi. Levi make me come, _please_.”

“ _Eren_ ,” Levi admonishes, pressing hard with his fingertips against Eren’s red skin.

“Lou please. Fuck--I need to come, I need—“

Levi pulls off. “‘M gonna gag you now,” he spits out, and his tone is angry, scolding, because Eren knows the rules, knows how far he can go before Levi snaps.

The gag ball is buried under tons of carefully folded clothes on Levi’s drawer, and he feels himself losing it for real, angry and frustrated that he’s slowly losing the grasp on the situation.

He carefully secures the gag ball behind Eren’s head, making sure it’s not too tight or cutting on his cheek. He doesn’t even give Eren time before he swings back and down again straight onto Eren's ass, starting to turn purple from the bruising, and soon the room is falling silent again. The only sounds in the air are the smacks from Levi’s hand and little hitched breaths that Eren lets out when they fall. Levi puts his aching hand on Eren’s lower back strokes a finger across the crease where Eren's ass meets his thigh, hearing a muffled sob fall from Eren at the light touch in this sensitive spot.

Eren has a sheen of sweat across his entire body, the curls at the nape of his neck and at his hairline damp. Levi digs a hand in Eren's hair and pulls his head back, to get a good look at Eren's face and _fuck_.

Fuck, Eren is so bloody beautiful, looking so vulnerable and powerless beneath him, stripped bare of all self-possession. His eyes are glassy and wet with tears. He's blotchy from crying and the red on his face matches the red on his ass and the red of his pretty lips stretched obscenely around the ball inside his mouth.

He breathes in the smell of Eren’s skin, the sweat mingling with traces of soap. He lets it inebriate his lungs, fill up all the parts of himself he feels like he’s lost, and lets go of Eren’s head.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” he breathes out, and when he reaches out his tongue across Eren's hole, Eren mewls and squirms against him as he keeps lapping at the pink puckered skin, still a little bit gaping.

He doesn’t even know how long it goes on like this; Levi alternating between thrusting his cock hard into Eren, fingering him further open with four and sometimes even five of his fingers, and then lazily fucking his loose and abused hole with his tongue till he can feel him at the edge of a yet another orgasm and then stopping, letting it slowly fade away with soft touches of his tongue and the press of his fingertips down his spine, along the gentle curves of his hips. It’s maddening, the need to come almost unbearable but it seems like he can’t stop, like he can’t snap out his bubble of anger and just let it go, let the desperation take over.

“You’re gonna make me come so hard, you’re so good. Being so good for me, even when you’re being bad-- wanna make a mess of you,” Levi rambles as he enters him once again, shoves his cock so deep inside him he feels almost breathless.

And it might have been the rush of blood in his head, the lust and want clouding his mind, but he doesn’t register it the first time, probably not even the second. And just once he realizes that Eren’s gone almost slack beneath him, that Levi hears the choked out word.

“R—rosso.”

The world stops. The noises come rushing back at his ears, his vision gets back into focus, but everything seems just at the edge of crumbling into pieces.

“No,” he almost screams, “no, no, no _, fuck_ , Eren, no,” and he doesn’t even care how little his voice sounds, how scared and broken, because this wasn’t fucking meant to happen. Eren wasn’t meant to use their safewords, and in particular not this one.

He moves fastly to untie both the gag ball and the scarf from around Eren’s head, and now that his mouth is free, the whimpers seem so loud, echoing so deep inside Levi’s ribcage, resonating against each bone, and it hurts. It fucking hurts that he so carelessly let this happen, that he wasn’t careful enough to control himself and see the signs that this was getting much more than Eren could handle.

He delicately unties the handkerchief around Eren’s wrists, and this time the red grooves running around them make Levi‘s stomach twist and he almost feels sick, feels like he tore apart something so beautiful and delicate, something precious he was entrusted to handle with caution and love.

“Fuck--Eren, I’m so sorry. So _fucking_ sorry,” he whispers, and he wants to panic, to scream and smash something against the wall, but Eren needs him, and he doesn’t have the time to be selfish anymore, so he takes Eren’s hands and gently lies him down the bed, kisses chastely his swollen lips and goes to fetch a damp cloth to clean him up.

Levi feels like he’s moving on auto-pilot, doesn’t even know what he’s doing as he brushes the cloth against Eren’s temples and wills his hands to stop trembling. Eren hasn’t stopped crying, and the sounds are getting even louder and more broken than Levi can handle.

He holds Eren tight and lets him cry, knows he needs to let it out, to work his mind back into focus, and mumbles reassuring nonsense at him, apologising over and over and telling Eren how much he loves him until Eren calms down a little. His breathing is slowly easing, muscles relaxing with each kind word falling from Levi’s mouth. But then—

"Why did you do that? You can't do that," Eren says, urgent now.

“I know. Fuck—I’m an asshole, I’m sorry.”

Eren sniffs, wipes a hand below his nose and sniffs once more. “No you are not,” he breathes out. “Just—don't. Don’t be angry at me, _please_." A teardrop streams slowly down his cheek, pools in the corner of Eren’s mouth, and Levi feels his heart break further apart inside his chest. “I disappointed you.”

Levi lets out a gasp. He takes Eren’s head between his still shivering hands and fixes Eren with a shocked and panicked look. “No Eren,” he rushes out, and of course Eren freaked out for this, for fear that he might have seriously upset Levi, the he wasn’t good enough to please him. “I wasn’t angry at you, I’m sorry if I let you think that,” he continues, nuzzling to kiss Eren's hair again, hugging him closer. "You were so good Eren, I swear. Always so good to me."

Levi leans down, brushes a kiss to Eren's cheek and feels the salty aftertaste of his drying-up tears rolling across his tongue, against the roof of his mouth, and kisses him again.

And again and again and again.

-

When Levi makes love to Eren that night, it’s with gentleness and caution. It’s with delicacy and sweetness, slow movements of Levi’s hips against Eren’s, small kisses brushed against Eren’s wrists, down his neck.

He wants to take it all and ingrain it into every fiber of his body—the way Eren looks when he moans, the way he feels, the way one of his hands comes up to grasp at Levi’s bicep tightly, _so_ tightly till it leaves bruises that won't fade for _weeks_. Bruises that even when they're gone, will hide just beneath his skin, aching in the most wonderful way.

When Eren comes, Levi savours every detail of it. The way his body pulses and clenches around him. The warmth that erupts around them. How his stomach always quivers and his hands pull into tight fists or cling to him desperately. How beautifully lost he’s become as his neck arches back and his lips part. How he loses control and gives everything to him in those moments. How he feels the way Eren says his name in every part of his body.

Levi slot their hands together, fingers filling up a space much bigger than their bodies allow, and a smile tugs the corners of Eren's mouth, bright and warm like the most blinding star.

Levi fits himself behind him, snuggles closer to kiss the freckles resting on his skin, and falls asleep, just like that.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> first work in this fandom. I'm planning to venture myself through a lot of different pairings. stay tuned
> 
>  
> 
> [TUMBLR THREAD](http://lollypoopz.tumblr.com/post/91771253263/title-will-your-mouth-still-remember-the-taste-of)


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